-”Are you my mother?”
-”No son, she was torn apart, fried and fed to a sorority girl.”
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Long after the tamer restaurants have shut their doors and Starbucks has tucked itself tightly into bed, the 400-watt spotlight in front of Cluck-U Chicken on Route 1 is still blazing. Inside, owner Kenny Brady supplies hundreds of pounds of chicken to the drunken masses every night.
The chicken shack will dish around 80 pounds of chicken tenders and “a few hundred pounds of wings” on a good night, Brady said. Which, he added, is every night but Mondays and Wednesdays during the school year.
According to NutritionData.com, the average chicken wing weighs 29 grams, or about 1.02 ounces. If we conservatively assume “a few hundred pounds of wings” to mean 175 pounds, that would equate to about 2,745 wings.
So, if Brady’s estimates are correct, the stumbling insomniacs of College Park are responsible for the death of at least 1,400 chickens every night they wander by Cluck-U on their way home from the bars. And that doesn’t even account for the chicken tenders, other late-night restaurants or miscellaneous freelance chickenmurdering.