''YAY COLLEGE PARK! YAY EARRINGS!'' (Photo by Orin Zebest)

This city attracts curious people of all stripes — they write books; they raise families; they drink beer. And, occasionally, they go out of their minds and generate police reports that are far, far outside the bounds of run-of-the-mill misdemeanors.

One such incident occurred last weekend: A very strange potential road-rage incident involving a 32-year-old College Park man, a car antenna and a few thousand volts of electricity. His alleged assault has inspired the blogger-brains at Campus Drive to look into College Park’s history of housing (and teaching) people who went on to be accused of off-the-wall crimes. Here are five of the weirdest.

5. Dick Bialczak, accused lightning lobber: A 32-year-old College Park attorney was arrested in the wake of Hurricane Irene Sunday, according to NBC Washington. Richard J. Bialczak is accused of following another motorist around until the man was forced to stop because there were downed power lines in the road. Police say Bialczak tried to ram the victim’s car toward the power lines, then got out, ripped off the car’s bumper and chucked the still-sparking power line at the victim’s car.

Not Bialczak.

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4. The English teacher with all the guns: Joanna Findlay was a well-liked UMD English instructor who made class fun, though students said she frequently turned class discussions to weaponry and gun rights. She called police last October to report a dispute with her husband, but the call was disconnected. When dispatchers called back, her husband answered the phone and said he’d been shot. Findlay was found in her driveway with blood on her clothes; her husband was inside, dead on a chair, in, of all places, the living room.

Findlay told police her husband shot himself when she found his stash of kiddie porn. Police charged her with second-degree murder anyway; according to records, she’s due back in court in November.

It hasn't been revealed what the alleged dispute was about, but it may have been a disagreement over what year Findlay last brushed her hair.

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3. The Semen Spritzer: University alum Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr. turned himself in to police last August in connection with a string of incidents at stores in which women had semen squirted on them out of a small bottle. Police found videos of some of the deeds on Edwards’s phone — including video of some incidents they didn’t know about. According to court records, Edwards pled guilty so some of the charges and is on probation until February 2014.

''Yeah, OK, pretend it wasn't fun for you, People Who Are Pressing Charges.''

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2. The woman who shot Andy Warhol: Radical feminist Valerie Solanas studied psychology at the University of Maryland in the 1950s, then, in 1967, wrote the SCUM Manifesto, which called for completely removing males from the Earth.

A year later, she shot avant-garde artist Andy Warhol in the chest. She spent three years in prison and died in 1988. If you’d like to check out that manifesto, you can actually check it out of McKeldin Library — it’s included in the script for “I Shot Andy Warhol,” a film based on her life, found in the stacks under PN1997 .I19 1996.

Conspicuously missing from the bookstore's ''campus authors'' section.

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1. The sword-murdering porn star: Stephen Clancy Hill was sent to jail after he threatened to kill his MATH111 teacher. When he got out, he moved to California and became a porn actor — one of the “worthless, D-list load droppers” in the industry, according to an LA Weekly cover story. The story has several interesting tidbits, including “monster hands,” a trend that has not caught on nearly as much as it should have:

Hill, whose screen name was Steve Driver, used to say his signature was “monster hands.” According to set photographer Gia Jordan, Hill “would wear these hands, like, from a Halloween costume. That was his shtick. He’d jack off on the girl with the hands and when he’d come he’d yell, ‘Monster hands!’

But when he was kicked out of his porn-warehouse digs, Hill snapped — and used a prop samurai sword to slash two workers and kill a third. In a police standoff on a cliff several days later, Hill was shot with a Taser and fell to his death.

Stephen Clancy Hill: Not creepy at all.

From 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., DEA officials collected 27 pounds of over-the-counter and prescription drugs as part of National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day — an initiative that began in September to let people get rid of unused or unwanted prescription drugs — for the second time at this university.

Even though officials did not collect as much as last year, when they collected 49 pounds of drugs, DEA Assistant Special Agent in Charge Carl Kotowski said any drug collected prevents potential abuse.

Last year, the DEA collected 245,000 pounds of drugs from take-backs across the country, and about 3,700 of those pounds came from this state, DEA Special Agent Melissa Bell said. Data from this year’s collection are not yet available.

Kotowski said drug collections like Saturday’s, outside University Police headquarters near Route 1, gather pain killers like Vicodin, Percocet and Oxycodone and stimulants like Ritalin and Valium.

Bell said the purpose of having this event is two-fold.

First, there’s no proper mechanism for disposing of unwanted drugs currently, so there’s a good chance they’ll be thrown away or flushed down the toilet and contaminate the water. Second, there’s a high chance the unused drugs could be abused.

“Most young people don’t think it’s a big deal, that because they got it from a doctor or a pharmacist that it’s safer than going and finding a seller on the street,” Bell said. “But they don’t know what’s going into their bodies and what it could do to them.”

The pamphlet from Saturday’s event said the non-medical use of prescription drugs ranks second only to marijuana as the most common form of drug abuse in the country. Most prescription drugs are found in the family medicine cabinet, it said.

The DEA advises that, other than dropping drugs off on National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day, the best way to get rid of drugs is to take the medications out of their bottles, mix them with something unappealing “like used kitty litter or coffee grounds,” seal them in a bag or disposable container and throw them away.

— Erin Egan and Leah Villanueva

So I trust everyone had a good time last night. We at The Diamondback certainly did, working until 4 a.m. on our respective stories.

It occurred to me that people may have forgotten what actually happens to students who participate in riots — the last one was in 2006 after the women’s national championship game, which is before this senior class even came to the university. If you need a refresher and you either weren’t downtown last night or don’t remember much from last night, here’s some things you should know:

They look ready for a pinata party ...

> They come in a Tank: When the county and university forces gear up for a potential riot, they make sure to pack their guys into what basically is an armored bus. Last night, the “tank” moved in and deployed units to “disperse” students who reportedly had set fire to a tree near Montgomery Hall. If you see it coming, you should probably start moving in the opposite direction. It doesn’t have a cannon, just a whole lot of officers inside with riot shields and nightsticks.

> They don’t have “rubber” bullets, but they have something that stings: When I asked University Police spokesman Paul Dillon last night if riot-control units were using rubber bullets, he corrected me: “We have FN 303s.” It’s known as the “less lethal launcher,” and it’s what the Army uses to get people to stop throwing stones at them. It appears from this video to be pneumatically powered, sort of like a paintball gun, but it takes people out. I wouldn’t want anything called “less lethal” pointed at my body.

>Tear gas is not fun: How do we know police used tear gas last night to disperse the crowd? At least four of our staff members got hit with the stuff, and they’ll be the first to tell you it sucks. There were reports last night of people who had their eyes swelled shut, and as you can see from this video of a Canadian protest, it also causes nausea. What should you do if you get sprayed in the face? Our staff recommends rinsing the afflicted area with milk to help neutralize the chemicals in the gas. Otherwise, you’re in for a long night.

> They can call in the cavalry: Some students were surprised to see officers on horseback — don’t be. University Police and Prince George’s County Police had teamed up with Park Police to get in mounted officers. Dillon observed that the horses were pretty effective at getting people to move away, and as we all know from Braveheart, it’s pretty hard to win a battle without cavalry.

> You’re not just going to get arrested: That’s right, you can be kicked out of school. Any students arrested can also be referred to the Office of Student Conduct for university sanctions. Although in the last riot sentencing was relatively light, the administration has warned in the past that any punishment for students involved in a riot would be harsher than last time. That means mom and dad won’t be too happy.

Final Note: For those who got injured in the rioting, if you’re looking into legal action against the cops, be aware that precedent is not on your side. A student injured in a Duke riot in 2005 sued county police officers after he said he was shot with what he claimed was an FN 303 round near his eye, but he lost the case. The message police drew from that was if a student is in a crowd of rioters, they’re part of the riot — even if they are trying to help other students or covering the event for student media. Maybe you’ll have more luck, though.

At this university, reports of sexual assault have dropped in recent years: From 1998 to 2003, there were 30 reported rapes at the university. In the past five years, that number has dipped to about four.

However, in my time as a crime reporter, I’ve learned several factors affect sexual assault reportage. For example, some victims have difficulty going to authorities to point out their attacker, so many assaults could theoretically go unreported. Also, some victims might rather go to the University Health Center or an advocacy group, in which case the rape may never be reported to police.

These reasons and more were pointed out by the Center for Public Integrity in a December article about the barriers to reporting sexual assault. However, the center has revealed something incredibly shocking in their latest report which came out yesterday: Even those who do identify their attackers don’t always get justice.

After a survey of university health professionals and examining data about sexual assault cases at major universities, the report says many assailants, even after being found guilty, receive a slap on the wrist. The story details the case of a victim at Indiana University (above video) who learned that the man who raped her as she lulled in and out of consciousness would be suspended for a summer semester in which he was unlikely to attend school.

Unfortunately, her story is not uncommon at all: The center interviewed 33 victims, and although in more than half the cases the suspect was found culpable by a school judiciary, only four assailants were expelled — two of them were already repeat offenders. In addition, the victims of assailants who stayed in school were prone to drop out or transfer in the fear that they would have to see their attacker again around the campus.

Typically, it’s up to a journalist to be objective, but as a human being, I think it’s safe to say this problem needs correcting.

Quick Hits

> Two in-state colleges have named new university presidents this week. The Baltimore Sun reports that Jay Perman, who was the dean of the University of Kentucky’s medical school, will be taking over the University of Maryland, Baltimore. In the more eastern part of the state, St. Mary’s College of Maryland has announced Joseph Urgo, who was a vice president of Hamilton College in New York, will be the bayside school’s new president, according to The Washington Post. Let’s hope this university is the next in line to get a new one — Dan Mote is only around until Aug. 31.

> The fallout from the ill-fated and misguided “Compton Cookout” continues. At the University of California, San Diego, the school held a teach-in session on stereotyping in an effort to reach out to black students after a UCSD fraternity held a part mocking Black History month. But most students walked out in the middle of the session to hold a vocal protest of university attitudes toward one of the schools most obvious minorities, according to the Los Angeles Times.

The University is no longer one of the most dangerous campuses, despite the best efforts of this guy.

Crime at this university has traditionally been a problem, but the latest crime numbers from Cleary reports by University Police indicate a continuance of the general downward trend in crime since its peak four or five years ago. But not all universities are doing so well when it comes to crime, particularly colleges in the state.

The Daily Beast recently made a ranking of both the 25 safest schools in the U.S. and the 25 most dangerous schools. Guess what? The University of Maryland at College Park  isn’t on either! But there are some familiar faces (all info gleaned from The Daily Beast):

• University of Baltimore, No. 14 Most Dangerous: The campus’ surrounding area isn’t too safe, with 29 robberies and 10 aggravated assaults in 2007.
• Bowie State University, No. 9 Most Dangerous: Our PG county neighbor had 46 burglaries and eight assaults in 2007.
• University of Maryland – Eastern Shore, No. 6 Most Dangerous: This school of 4,000 people was one of the smallest schools assessed, but has a high rate of burglary and aggravated assault.
• University of Maryland – Baltimore, No. 3 Most Dangerous: Again, campus safe, neighborhood not. There were 18 assaults, 12 motor vehicle thefts and 16 robberies in their general area in 2007.
• University of Virginia, No. 7 Safest: “The most serious offenses that occurred on campus were two burglaries in 2007.”

I’m sure many of you need basis for comparison: UMCP had nine robberies, 12 cases of aggravated assault, 97 burglaries and 44 motor vehicle thefts in 2007, but because the student body is so large, the rate is lower because there are less crimes per student.

Do you really think the state of Maryland houses four of the top-25 most dangerous schools in America? Well, The Daily Beast talks about their methodology, which involved mainly browsing through Education Dept. statistics from 2006 and 2007 and developing their own complex weight system for the seriousness of the crime. They acknowledge in their rankings are seriously influenced by the surrounding environment, meaning low on-campus crime does not translate necessarily to a “safe school.” The evidence? Baltimore-based schools take a hit, but so do prestigious schools in Boston: Harvard is on the list, MIT is No. 5 and arts college Emerson is the most “dangerous” school in America. Also, the Old Line state’s strict crime-reporting laws hurt the local colleges and universities — they have to report crime in the surrounding area more rigorously than schools in other states  (The Daily Beast acknowledges this in the rankings).

So basically we’re looking at outdated information with subjective weight system and rate judgements that hurt schools in states with better laws about crime reporting. Plus, to be fair, this is not a measure of police effectiveness — a lot of these schools have very safe on-campus environments. Just don’t walk off them.

Quick Hits

• The editor of The Towerlight, Towson university’s independent student newspaper, resigned last week after the publication was hit with flak from the university president for this column on mutual masturbation. In other news, The Diamondback published a sex guide yesterday, including a column on masturbation. No one has yet resigned. If Carrie Woods (the Towson editor) is looking for a new job, well …
• The Washington Post has a blog entry on a website designed to help people determine if they’re sick enough to go to the doctor to be treated for H1N1, commonly known as swine flu. After a series of questions, the website will say you need rest and fluids or you need medical attention. The Diamondback’s recommendation? If you’re sick enough to think you might need to visit the swine flu website, just go to the doctor.

Students, faculty and staff from California's public universities protest last week over steep budget cuts. Courtesy of the New York Times.

Yes, it’s the inaugural Campus Drive afternoon roundup, and don’t worry, we planned it that way.

Some of you may have read in today’s Diamondback about the university-based VegTerps and the national group peta2 calling for students sign a petition to boot McDonald’s out of the Stamp Student Union food court. They reportedly have about 2,200 signatures. “Sure it’s great to hold fast-food joints accountable for their inhumane slaughtering practices,” you’re saying to yourself. “But it makes me wonder what other kinds of petitions are circulating at other universities.”

Glad you asked. The economic struggles of the universities in this state are often compared favorably to the miserable perils awaiting the California higher education system. On the verge of massive budget cuts, university system faculty signed a walkout petition to protest the burden of budget woes being placed on the shoulders of students and employees “who can least afford it.” Malia Wollan of the New York Times has the story:

‘Everyone agrees there is a budget crisis and that the university must respond,’ said Joshua Clover, an associate professor of English at U.C. Davis who was a co-author of a petition calling for the faculty walkout on Thursday. The problem, Mr. Clover said, is that the administration’s handling of the budget cuts ‘disproportionately harms those who can least afford it both among the workers and the students.’

The online walkout petition was signed by 1,221 of the 19,000 faculty members statewide. A union representing more than 11,000 university professional and technical staff members supported the protest and called a one-day strike.

In Pittsburgh, the location of the recent G-20 summit, you may have heard about the riots and protests that went on — if you read Campus Drive, that is. Now the university administration is reviewing student arrests to sort out who was caught up in the rioting and who was an innocent bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time. Students are organizing a petition, which could have as many as 400 signatures, to speak out against the actions of police and the arrests. As The Pitt News‘ Liz Navratil and Estelle Tran report, some of the apprehensions are a little sketchy to say the least:

At least six of those students had extenuating circumstances, [Pitt Police Chief Tim]Delaney said. He mentioned one student who had a hearing impairment. Delaney asked the student to get a note from his doctor. He said he knew of at least one student who had swiped out of Benedum Hall and was on his way home.

Finally, we round out the roundup with a story about a petition everyone who parks on the campus can probably relate to: A University of Southern Alabama student has begun collecting signatures to fight for better parking. The Vanguard’s Alex Whalen recorded the anonymous student’s complaints:

‘Right now we’re just trying to see how many students are having problems [with parking],’ the student said, citing the inadequate size of parking lots and the number of parking permits issued as major reasons for the problem.

Many students have echoed very similar concerns, pointing out that paying for a parking permit should guarantee them a place to park.

‘There are students [who are] not going to class because they can’t afford the tickets,’ the student said. ‘[Students] are getting here 30 to 45 minutes before class and there’s nowhere to park.

‘The [USA] police are fanatics [about ticketing] … and the JagTran makes you late for class.’

Aww, Southern Alabama … tough life. Try parking in Lot 1 sometime.

Quick Hits

• The Daily Collegian is reporting the Penn State chapter of Alpha Tau Omega has been suspended following the death of a freshman student last week. It is the second fraternity suspension that university’s Interfraternity Council has made since the student’s body was found.
• A cautionary tale for academics from The (Baltimore) Sun today: A postdoctoral researcher at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore was found dead after overdosing on a drug commonly used to treat heroin addiction. Police found large quantities of drugs at her residence. Her most recent paper? Results of a study on “compulsion and habit formation.” Yikes.

Today at Maryland

• The Marine Corps is hosting a fitness challenge on LaPlata Beach from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. — and ideal event for all lovers of push-ups and sit-ups.
• Red flags will be out on McKeldin Mall today signifying the start of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. October actually starts tomorrow, but who really looks at their calendar anyway?